Blog Posts (spec)

On Self-Promotion

In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same.

— Eckhart Tolle

I've been thinking about humility a lot lately. Mostly about whether or not I am humble enough, whether I acknowledge others, you know... make enough room for them and their perspective (my spiritual jigsaw puzzle of the moment). While on these tangents, I came across this quote by Tolle. I find it particularly enlightening, and an incitement to cultivate even more compassion. Truly enlightening and yet, just like any genius insight, it seems so logical, doesn't it? So simple, so "of course!", once you think about the way that self-promotion on sites like Facebook or Twitter affects us all.

We all want to be seen

Beyond the narcissism correlations discussed in the media lately, I wanted to play with (unpack) the idea that it's about something other than self-love, and rather about insecurity and needing to be acknowledged. About the desire to matter in this world. About leaving an imprint.

And for some of us, there is no better arena than social media. Posting a public status update is akin to shouting to the world: "Hey, look over here! Here is a piece of me/my life... do you see it? Do you 'like' it?".

So, this seemingly non-conversational piece of writing: this detailed explanation of what we are having for dinner, the cleverly cryptic picture of an unidentified location, the sharing of our travel plans... is in fact a way of communicating with the outside world. But what it truly says is that the reactions of existing social media friends/followers aren't enough for us; in fact, it says that the status update isn't actually meant to elicit their reaction at all, but rather that of a silent witness, out there... in the virtual ether.

We are all ‘enough’

It's tempting to see the words on the computer screen and think them an annoying boast, bragging, a mere instance of narcissism. To see the gesture as an attempt to hurt or compete with others, in some way or another.

But I think that Tolle's words help us recognize —and honor— in the other (as in ourselves), the need to matter. The all-too-human need to exist in the gaze of the other; the gaze of the witness to the social media page and its carefully crafted persona. As if this gaze were a mirror reflecting back a self we long to be —trapped as we are in our perception of scarcity. Forgetting that we are already leaving an imprint; that if we look within, away from the words we launch into the ether... We can see that we are already enough, are already loved.

No more and no less than any other, but loved all the same; unconditionally.

Tweets:

Incitement to cultivate #compassion: “In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same.” #self-esteem #humility #eckharttolle
We all want to be seen. We are all enough. #self-esteem #humility #compassion #eckharttolle

###

Want to add some charm to your garden?

If you live in California, there is a good chance that, like me, you live along the migratory path of hummingbirds. Why not create a hummingbird-friendly garden (or front porch)?

Every spring, from mid-February to the end of March, hummingbirds migrate from Mexico to the Pacific Northwest where they spend the summer months. Once the weather cools, they make the same journey in reverse to reach Mexico by winter.

In California, you’ll most often see Anna’s or Allen’s hummingbirds who do not migrate and are permanent residents. But during migration you might also spot Rufous, Broad-tailed, and Black-chinned hummingbirds. Along the way, they will visit the same flowers and feeders from which they fed on their way North. Hummingbirds remember not only every single flower and feeder on their path, but human faces as well.

Allen’s Hummingbird

(Photo: Isabelle Coitoux)

If you want to attract them to your garden, choose hummingbird-friendly plants. If you don’t have the space for a garden, you can hang nectar feeders like these. Hang them away from windows and if possible, in the shade. Before you know it, you’ll have hummingbirds whirling about, and chirping in delight.

Making nectar is as easy as 1-2-3!

1. Dissolve 1 cup of sugar in 4 cups of water over medium heat. 2. Bottle and keep refrigerated.

3. Bring the nectar to room temperature before filling feeder*.

*Change the nectar and clean feeders often. (every 1-2 days in summer and every 3-4 days in colder weather)

###

9 Tiny Facts about Hummingbirds

A group of hummingbirds is called a “charm”
A hummingbird weighs less than a dime, or about 0.15 oz.
A female hummingbird will lay two eggs, each about the size of a blueberry.
A hummingbird’s heart beats 1,260 times/minute.
Hummingbirds can fly backwards, sideways and even upside down!
Hummingbird wings beat at a rate of 53 beats/second.
Hummingbirds have a high metabolism and need to eat every 15-20 minutes.
The lifespan of a hummingbird is about 3-5 years.
Anna’s hummingbirds are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act in California. True story: A bridge in the San Francisco area had to halt construction because of a hummingbird nest.